The Special Olympics are Retarded

They are.

Here’s my point: Those Olympics do more harm to the egos of the participating children than good. Let me explain.

Decanting it down into its purist form, the Special Olympics are “A League of their Own” for retarded children. No one gets hurt; they all perform at their comfort level with only other like-minded/like-bodied individuals, and at the end of the day they all get trophies, regardless of how well they did. It’s this safe little, delusional, feel-good bubble.

The problem with this is that this is all an attempt to “normalize” them in a “Hey we’re not so different than you we’re just as good!” sort of way. But that’s not what children’s sports are for the rest of us. They are supposed to be entrenched in humiliation, agony and fierce competition. As kids, going through youth sports separates the weaklings from the strong; the future artists, performers, academics and thinkers from the future bureaucrats, gym teachers and military personnel.

The Special Olympics only fosters future complacent retards, with no sense of drive or responsibility since everything gets handed to them just because they are different. Um, ‘scuse me, parents of retarded children, but aren’t you trying to get them to live the most normal life possible? That’s what you get for parading them around a field like its some sort of nightmarishly awful combination of dog show with freak show.

I say if you want them to grow up normal, why not let them hang out and participate with normal kids in normal youth leagues? Will they get made fun of? Oh Hell yes they will. So will the fat kid who doesn’t want to be there, the effeminate kid who runs like a girl, the nerdy kid who doesn’t know how to play, the spazz, the crybaby, the minority, and basically every child there who isn’t the star player (fuck that kid). But you have never seen such unity and compassion as when you stick that team of misfits next to the Oakton Wildcats. Sorry, but it doesn’t matter if you are retarded, gay, nerdy, fat, stupid, smelly or a showoff. If you are a Wildcat you are fucking dead. It builds comradery and tollerance.

Kids get hurt. That’s normal. It’s part of life. By depriving pain, both emotional and physical, you are depriving that kid part of their childhood. I know everyone wants to protect kids but this is just not what life is like. If I have to explain to you how and why life is not like one big Disney Movie then I have some scary things about Santa you should really know about.

I stand by everything I’ve typed except my horribly insensitive phrasing.

Oh yeah. And I've never actually interacted with any special needs kids, let alone know what's best for them. WHOOPS.