NYF’D

From the creators of Street Fighter, X-Men vs. Street Fighter and Marvel vs. Capcom comes a brand new fighting game series. NYF’D is the knife fighting game to start and end all knife fighting games. Sporting many fighters from all over the world, they gather once a year on Enforcer Island for the Great Blade Battle. Only one will survive. The survivor is that year’s winner. There can only be one winner. So…there’s only one survivor. The sole survivor wins. The winning survivor is the only one who both wins and survives. Survivor. Winner. One. What do they win? GOLD!

Let’s take a look at the fighting roster!

Name: Arthur Dingo
Home: Warrumbungle, Australia
Weapon: Bolo Machete
Primary Attack: This is a Knife
Secondary Attack: Crikey
Special: G’Day
Bio: As the only shorts-wearing fighter in this years competition, Dingo hopes that winning the gold will help his town replenish its native whitchetty grub population.

Name: Leisure Dupree
Home: Harlem, NY, USA
Weapon: Straight Razor
Primary Attack: Pimp Slice
Secondary Attack: Pimp Slash
Special: Bitch Better Gimme My Daaaamn Mon-ay!
Bio: He’s a mover. He’s a shaker. He’s a hustler. And he’s here to take the prize. This knife fighting shit is old hat to him (Note: he wears a very large, very new, purple leopard print hat).

Name: Angus MacClannough
Home: Edinburgh, Scotland
Weapon: Broken Whiskey Bottle and a Dirty AIDS Needle
Primary Attack: Hooligan
Secondary Attack: Longshank
Special: Highlander Fugue
Bio: As western Scotland’s primer dope dealer, Angus entered the tournament to help pay for his ever expanding empire, and squash his rival dealer, Robert the Brute.

Name: John Running Tree
Home: Mattaponi Indian Reservation, Virginia, USA
Weapon: Tomahawk
Primary Attack: Chop
Secondary Attack: Flying Hawk
Special: Great Spirit Summon
Bio: Born in Richmond, Virginia to 2 affluent white people, John is 1/8 Algonquian Native American. By winning the tournament, he hopes to prove to his tribe (which he gets privileges from on a technicality) and himself that he’s a real red-blooded savage.

Name: M’Butu
Home: Democratic Republic of the Congo
Weapon: Panga Machete
Primary Attack: Monkey Scalp
Secondary Attack: Juju
Special: Blood Drinker
Bio: Ever butcher an entire troop of AK-wielding rebels with a machete? M’Butu has. Numerous times. What else is there to do in the middle of nowhere?

Name: Kato Fukimaro
Home: Osaka, Japan
Weapon: Katana
Primary Attack: Ninja Strike
Secondary Attack: Samurai Strike
Special: Wind Ghost Robot Hello-Kitty Strike
Bio: Obligatory, stereotypical Japanese character. Dude likes sushi and is a teenager with emotional problems.

Name: Francis Gantineau
Home: Parts Unknown, Canada
Weapon: Axe
Primary Attack: Big Swing
Secondary Attack: Chopping Block
Special: De-forestation
Bio: From his personals ad – “SWM iso SWF Larger than life five-time champion of the Lumberjack Games seeks rewarding life with sturdy woman. Must like the outdoors, large hairy men, and Jean-Claude Van Damme movies.”

Name: Topper Bollocks
Home: Brixton, England
Weapon: Switchblade
Primary Attack: Cut the Crap
Secondary Attack: Piss Stain
Special: The Filth and the Fury
Bio: “The money feels good and your life you like it will, but surely you’re time will come as in Heaven, as in Hell” - the words Topper Bollocks, the time traveling British punk from the ‘70’s lives, fights, and dies by. What a poser.

Name: Laurence Abdul Aziz Ibn Saud
Home: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Weapon: Scimitar
Primary Attack: Beheading
Secondary Attack: Crescent Moon
Special: Slashing Gas Prices

Bio: This guy’s the son of a royal Saudi family/oil tycoon. He’s richer than God. He doesn’t need the prize money. So the only reason he’s fighting is ‘cause, straight up, he’s a dick. And his name’s Laurence. The fuck’s up with that?