Hey, sugar tits! You want a little excitement? Do you hate Johnny Depp? Lookin’ to completely fuck the shit out of scum on the high seas? Well cross over into the blue and taste the SEAL edge!The United States Naval Warfare Command in conjunction with the United States Naval Special Operations Command are looking for red-blooded, white-knuckle, blue seamen to stop the global threat of pirates!
Pirates? Pirates? Really, fucking pirates? Pirates. They are no joke. Since the 18th century, pirates have been the number 1 growing enemy of our sweet land of liberty. From 1962 when the first SEAL teams were commissioned, to present day, Navy SEALs have distinguished themselves as an individually reliable, collectively disciplined and highly skilled maritime force that can completely waste the fuck out of Jack Sparrow and his faggot liberal ass!
DID YOU KNOW OSAMA BIN LADEN IS A PIRATE?!
Because of the dangers inherent in APB, prospective SEALs go through what is considered by many Military Channel watchers to be the toughest training in the world: first regular Naval training, then SEALs training, a community college cooking course, and finally APB training. This final step introduces recruits to a series of pirate-related techniques, including pirate identification, swashbuckling 101, and guns v. swords defense training.
Are you motivated to succeed? Are you determined to persevere? Are you ready to accelerate your life? Consider a career in Navy SEALs Anti-Pirate Brigade (SEALAPB). We seek smart, fit, hardworking young men from all non-Somalian backgrounds to join our team of pirate murderers to murder murdering pirates.
Join today!
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