Bus Drivers Have Shit to Say About Stuff

It's true. They like to talk about stuff. Stuff that may or may not involve things.

I caught up with the driver of the Fairfax Connecter Bus 505 which runs from Reston Town Center to Reston East (Wiehle Ave.) to the West Falls Church Metro and back again. And again. And again. Over and over and over again. His name is Massiah "Moose" Habibi and this is what he had to say.

Me: So, you're a bus driver? How's that working out for you?

Moose: No distracting the driver while the bus eez in motion.

Am I distracting you?

Yes.

How did you get the handle of "Moose"?

In thees country, no one can pronounce my name, and it eez hard enough assimilating into thees culture without someone stu-peed trying to make trouble for me.

Sucks. Do you think that will change once Barack Hussein Obama is sworn in?

No.

Why? It's a pretty big moment. I mean, he's dark skinned like you, and his name sounds like a combination of Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hus-

No-ting will change. One must be verry verry foolish to theenk all thees will change over night.

Do you think if McCain/Palin won, Sarah Palin would try to hunt you because your name is Moose?

No. She would try to hunt me because my name eez Massiah Habibi.

Haha. Zinger. Any final thoughts?

Do not distract the driver.