Black Presidents

It MUST be the future. We have a black man running the free world. Even though I want to say “oh this is completely unexpected; I NEVER thought I’d live to see the day”, I can’t. Actually, I’ve seen it all before. Several times, in fact. It’s like in 1969 when we put a man on the moon with less technology than a calculator, people lost their shit. “Oh groovy man; the Jet-Age! How futuristic! Trippy.” Uh, sorry to harsh your buzz dude, but Jules Verne predicted nearly the exact same shit happening 100 years prior (3 men + huge explosion + Florida launch pad = moon landing).

It’s weird, but the farther back in time you look, the further into the future you see. And it seems there’s always been a depiction of a black president. So, is having one really a new concept? Is it really that revolutionary? Sorta.

Barack Hussein Obama
For those of you in-the-know, Barack Hussein Obama, the current and first black president of these United States, has been tearing ass lately. He just nominated the first Latino/third woman to SCOTUS and…some other stuff. It doesn’t matter what he’s doing as president for the sake of this article. Dude is a half white, Pakistani Muslim from Indonesia/Africa with a Chinese sister. And Rush Limbaugh says he’s the greatest living example of a reverse racist. The best part is that you know President Obama hears all this and just goes “Pfffthththth” while doing the Jacking Off gesture.

David Palmer
Democratic President David Palmer, doin’ his thang, helpin’ Jack Bower save the free world from tear-ists ‘n’ shit. I watched my first episode of 24 and, now this is probably racist on my part. I didn’t see the leader of the free world in David Palmer. I saw the guy who’s trying to get me to switch my car insurance over to All State. But I finished the episode and became a true believer. Oh, David Palmer. I know your stance. I’m always in good hands when you’re president.

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
Words…should have…sent…a poet…


Lindberg
The president in The 5th Element is such a minor role that the writers didn’t bother giving him a first name. Shit, they didn’t even bother giving him a last name that made sense. Lindberg? I’m pretty sure there aren’t any Space Blacks immigrating from neo-Germany to the 77 United States of America. Whatever. There are no such thing as small roles, and at least he got to see Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich make whoopie in a tube.