Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Unused Facebook Quizzes

The world is constantly becoming more fucked. Obama pledges economic recovery that will not come any time soon. Thai troops cross into Cambodia, thereby starting an international incident. Seven die and nine are wounded in an attack in Afghanistan. And as a sign of how bad the economy is, Japan’s February exports were halved this year.

But here’s the worst thing:

Facebook has a new layout and oh my god it is so ugly and shitty.

It’s as if facebook did everything in its power to become more like its biggest social networking rivals, Myspace and Twitter. Because, hey, fuck originality. The site’s homepage is now a barrage of all the mundane, stupid nonsense status updates your friends manage to squeeze into their incredibly important and busy day. It’s 9:30 AM. How the fuck am I supposed to care, at all, even one tiny little bit, that you “want to be back in bed sleeping”? EVERYONE wishes they didn’t have a job and got to spend all day sleeping in and watching Lost. Welcome to America.

I hate the ubiquitous quizzes that seem to have popped up over night like a bad case of acne. Can they possibly be any more unoriginal and uninspired? They are in the same vein as that “25 things you may not know about me” thing that floated around a while ago that was ripped straight from the 2005 Myspace Play Book. I’m just glad there were some quizzes so bad they didn’t make the grade.

What Type of Nokia Product Defines Your Lifestyle?

The Most Likely Reason Someone Will Leave You

What Are You Born to Do, Circa Europe 1355

Which The Andy Milonakis Show Character Are You?

How You Should Die

The Quiz on Quantum Mechanics

How “Delaware” Are You?

Which Nickleback Song Are You?

BBQ or Honey Mustard?

How Well Do You Know Canadian History?

Fo’ Realz?!

Type Your Full Name, Birth Date and Social Security Number

Which Sexual Fetish Are You?

Which 1977 House of Representatives Bill Are You?

Am I Sitting In Front Of A Computer, Right Now?

Test Your Coke/Crack/Heroin IQ

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