Post-Modern Conceptual Free Jazz Performance Art

What’s shaking brothers and sisters?. The man calls me Peter Johnson, but I dig the handle Jack Happening. I’m gonna lay down some of my soul for you here tonight at Starbucks. So lay back, open your third eye and prepare for the crest of a wave that will never break. Yo, Dean! Lay down a mean beat. Gimme a fat slice!

*a man starts to play the bongos*

Clickety-clack goes the cat on the train tracks of life
a-swish-swishing his tail defiantly
in the face of the bourgeoisie guard dog
that bitch
*snaps fingers twice*

*bongo playing ends*

Cool, cool. Coolsville. Coolio. Cool and the gang. Straight L.L. Cool J. Alright. Now I’d like to be hip to the times and present some of my art pieces. This scene’s about to bust-out, man. This first one is in honor of the great Boondogler-in-Chief. It’s called, “Bush is a Nazi”

See, I used swastikas to represent Nazis. And Bush to represent Bush. Like, it’s all about how Bush is a nazi for all that dicey stuff he did. Right? He’s a drag, man.

Right. Alright. Make no nevermind. This next one is called “Man’s Futility in the Face of the Void; Fuck Willem de Kooning”

The point of this piece is to challenge the square’s mentality on what art is. What I did was erase a Kooning piece. Is erasing another artist’s work a creative act, or is this creative only ‘cause the famous Jack Happening did it? Hey you, the chicky babe in the ugs. Yeah, the real sex-pot over there. You liked my piece, didn’t you?

*silence*

Fine then. I didn’t blow any minds. That’s cool, that’s cool. This’ll get me made in the shade. I know this will. It’s called, “Am I Blowing Your Mind?”



*someone shouts "too blurry!*

Alright. Fine. I’ve got one last thing for you all: a performance piece. It’s called “Fuck You, Starbucks Open Mic”

*takes off beret and places it on the ground*

*shits in beret*

*chucks shit filled beret into the audience*

*turns around and gives double back middle finger salute*

Peace out, Daddy-O!